Elway's Kryptonite

John Elway.... afraid?? I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't heard it directly from the horse's mouth (see what I did there? With the "horse's mouth" thing and John Elway? This is why I make jokes... because I'm funny) but it appears as though there is one thing on this planet that actually puts fear into the heart of a God. It's shocking, I know. My entire world has been rocked. What's next? Are you going to tell me that the sun isn't powered by Chuck Norris' beard? That a steady diet of Funyons and Pabst Blue Ribbon is bad for you? What is this one thing that scared Lord Elway you ask? Charles Barkley's golf swing. If he thinks that's ugly... he should see my wife when she wakes up in the morning! OH!! That's my time folks, don't forget to tip your waitress!!

Where are the Homers?

As our dozens of readers have probably noticed.... the Homers have been out of commission for quite some time. What's going on with them you ask? Well, we could make excuses about new jobs, new children, mental instability, possible incarceration, an extended drug binge, etc... but we can't lie to you. The truth is this.... We just went fishing. See? Here is a totally real picture from the trip.... which included myself, John Elway, Carmelo Anthony, Moe Cheeks and Andre Miller.... Forty Duece and Brainz were taking the picture. That's why we weren't blogging.... Why don't you believe me??? No, that is NOT photo-shopped! We always go on vacation with those dudes! So now that we're done with our totally sweet and successful fishing trip... I'm going to start blogging again. Just to forewarn you, some of my posts may have nothing at all to do with Colorado or sports... But until we get Deadly Hippos up and running again, I need a place to talk about shit like drinking, girls, the movie "Predator", racist natural disasters, and whatever the hell else I feel like talking about. Talk to you soon....

With Just 2 Days 'till Elway Day, Some John Elway Facts

Elway Day is rapidly approaching, and the local CO Blogiverse has shown great support for the cause. Make sure you check them all out: Orange Bucksnorts BroncoTalk My Denver Obsession Slushy Gutter Summer Big Money, No Whammies Broncos Freak Thanks for the love fellas and keep up the good work. We also recieved an email from si.com earlier today letting us know that John Elway bested the likes of lesser #7's in history (such as Mickey Mantle, David Beckham, Kevin Johnson, Craig Morton, and Andrea Bargnani) to be declared the greatest #7 in the history of sport. We at Colorado Homers couldn't agree more. In fact, I personally believe he should be the greatest #6 and #8 of all time also. Through simple osmosis, his number probably infected those two with his greatness. Speaking of his greatness, here are 7 John Elway facts I came up with to help celebrate John Elway Day: 1.) Pluto was recently declassified as a planet when it was discovered to be a football thrown by John Elway. 2.) John Elway did build Rome in a Day. He only did this so he could destroy it later that night with a perfectly thrown spiral. 3.) It is a widely known fact that John Elway had his left ACL removed in high school. It is a lesser known fact that this ACL was used to form the first bullet proof vest. 4.) The first sonic boom in recorded history was the result of a 10 yard out thrown by John Elway. 5.) Once a reporter asked John Elway to throw a football as far as he possibly could, that throw is now known as the Hale-Bopp Comet. 6.) The fastest recorded pitch in major league baseball history was, strangely enough, a John Elway thrown football. 7.) The explosion at Chernobyl was not an accident, it was actually caused by an errant John Elway throw. Of course, John Elway has never had an "errant throw", so the lesson here is that Russia shouldn't have been talking shit. I'm sure some of you out there can come up with some good ones too, so feel free to fire them up in the comments. Also, a couple of other Broncos made the list. Shannon Sharpe was the greatest #84 of all time and Neil Smith the greatest #90. Here are some promotions updates for John Elway Day: - Fox & Hound on Bowles: Everyone wearing a Broncos jersey on Saturday will get free pool until 5:00PM After 5:00pm you can get half off pool and half off the cover for the UFC fight. If you have any questions you can call 720-922-0400 and ask for Tiffany. Click here for directions. - Timeless Sports at the Flatirons Mall in Broomfield: They will be offering all John Elway items autographed and non-Autographed that day at 21% off (7+7+7 = 21%). For more information you can contact them by phone at (303) 410-0068, or by email info@Timeless-Sports.com We should hopefully be getting a few more drinking spots on the list before Saturday, so I'll be updating this as they come in.

Nuggets Draft Review

Draft Review: Round 1 - Round 2 - Grade - Analysis - While the Nuggets didn't improve much during tonight's draft, they didn't get any worse either. I don't see any future stars coming out of the team's draft picks this year, but it is doubtful it will produce any Nikoloz Skitishvili type busts either. They did about as well as can be expected for a team with absolutely nothing to do today. ___________________________________________________ John Elway Day update: - Thanks to everyone who's joining in the movement with us. Some great Denver Broncos blogs have joined in to raise awareness. Check them out at BroncoTalk and My Denver Obsession. Thanks for the support fellas! - We are still working on some bar spots to celebrate Elway Day, but if you need some new Elway hotness to celebrate with then you're in luck. We received an email from Jason Patterson, owner of Timeless Sports at the Flatirons Mall in Broomfield, who wants to participate in the Elway Day festivities. They will be offering all John Elway items autographed and non-Autographed that day at 21% off (7+7+7 = 21%). For more information you can contact them by phone at (303) 410-0068, or by email info@Timeless-Sports.com. It looks they have Champ Bailey coming to the store on the 8th also, so it's a good weekend to head up there and check it out. ______________________________________________________ Other Draft Notes - - One thing is for sure, this draft definitely made things a lot more difficult for the Nuggets to win the Northwest Division next year. - For the second year in a row Portland nailed the draft. Got Oden, got rid of Randolph to make room for Oden and Aldridge. They did have to pick up Steve Francis in the deal, so hopefully he can teach himself to pass before the start of the season. The Trail Blazers also picked up Channing Frye and Josh McRoberts during the draft which leaves them extremely stacked up front. I don't think they are done making moves yet. - The Celtics got over on the Sonics in the Ray Allen deal. Here's what I don't understand if you're the Sonics. You draft a dynamic 3 man in Kevin Durant. You then trade the best shooter in the league, Ray Allen, to Boston for Jeff Green (who's basically just like Durant only not near as good), another 3 man in Wally Szczerbiak, and now you are trying to re-sign your other dynamic 3 man in Rashard Lewis. So you now have Lewis (who scored over 22 ppg last year), Wally (who averaged 15 ppg last year), and the #2 and #5 pick in the draft who all play the exact same position. We know they can't put Durant at the 4 spot since he can't do a push up, or at least he can't without putting his knees on the ground. So either they are making another trade, or they are planning on playing Golden State style of ball next season and spreading everyone out to rain 3's. And the Celtics just became a contender in the East. Of course, if you put me, Forty Duece, a Yorkshire terrier and Ray Allen on a team we'd contend in the East. The East blows. But Ray Allen averaged a career high in points last season, and a player like him (a scorer who relies on his jumper) can keep playing well into his mid-30's... ask Reggie Miller. - At some point around pick #40, the 2nd round of the NBA draft has become a joke. For the past few years teams just use these picks to take a flier on some tall Euro who might be a player in the next few years, instead of taking a proven American college player. An example of this is the last pick in the first round Petteri Koponen. Koponen was the 3rd leading scorer of his Finnish Basketball League TEAM, at 12.5 ppg. Not in the entire league, just on his team. In comparison, my former teamate at CU and one of my best friends DJ Harrison also played in the Finnish League. DJ was the 5th leading scorer in the league at 19.4 ppg, averaged nearly 10 rebounds, and was second in the league in player efficiency rating (a huge stat in Europe, it's kind of like Hollinger Stats). So why is this foreign kid a first round draft pick and DJ isn't? Because NBA GM's and talent scouts are retarded that's why. US players who don't quite make the NBA consistently go to Europe and DESTROY the competition. Yet these lesser players that they dominate end up in the NBA.... makes sense I guess if your a GM of an NBA franchise and you want to populate your team with dudes like this. ______________________________________________________ In other Nuggets news: - I was reading Gilbert Arenas' blog on NBA.com and came across this in his last entry: Starting a Rumor I had seen Melo in our arena. Carmelo is doing a documentary of him working out for the Olympics back in D.C. When I saw him, for some weird reason I thought he was traded to us. I wish. He’s going to be in D.C. for about two weeks working out before he goes back to Denver. He works hard. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that other NBA players think Melo is a hard worker. - Allen Iverson's lawsuit hearing began today. It sounds like AI is a victim of his fame in this one. From what I can tell, some guy got his ass beat at a bar and Iverson was there, so he is suing him for $20 million. I don't think AI has anything to worry about.

07-07-07 Update; Elway Day Gaining Momentum

Good news Broncos fans! Clay Travis at CBS Sportsline has endorsed the John Elway Day movement. Make sure you read the column (it's a great interview with ex-Chief, and Super Tecmo legend, Christian Okoye) and you'll see he gives us some love at the end. Elway Day will not be stopped!! We are also currently working on getting a few bars throughout the Denver Metro area to sponsor some kind of Elway Day promotions. We'll be providing links to places that the Elway hordes will be gathering to celebrate as they become available. We can use this site as an Elway Day think tank. A sort of e-village with ideas of places to gather, special Elway Day drinks to consume, or just a place to share your favorite John Elway moments. Please share in the comments section. I'll get the Elway stories going with one of my favorites: Date - September 17th, 1995 Site - Mile High Stadium Opponent - Washington Redskins. It was the third game of the Mike Shanahan era in Denver. Elway was leading a young team with a young head coach and some serious potential. We had an unknown rookie RB named Terrell Davis in the backfield, and relied heavily on Elway to carry the team. I was sitting in the west stands of the old Mile High with my buddy Wade, who's dad had given us the tickets. It was a beautiful Colorado day. We were going the distance with the Skins in a shootout, Elway was having a monster day that would see him end up with 327 yards and a couple of TD passes. But with a minute or two left, the Skins tied the game at 31, and the following kickoff went out of the end-zone leaving Elway 80 yards and two minutes to lead us to victory. No problem. The drive stalled out at the Redskin 43 yard line though, and Shanny decided it was too far to risk a FG block. So on 4th down (I think) Elway dropped back sending everyone down the right side of the field for the old Hail Mary. He scrambled right, stopped, and threw a laser towards the only receiver running down the left side of the field. This lonely receiver was an undrafted rookie named Rod Smith, who had yet to catch his first pass in the NFL. Elway's throw was on the money and Rod Smith snatched it in front of his defender to score the game winning 43 yard TD, with no time left on the clock. Wade and I (and the rest of Mile High Stadium) went batshit crazy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Following up with Brainz analysis of the newest CU recruits, here is a youtube video of Tyler Hansen. I'd say Brainz was right on about this kid. He can make a lot of throws and looks pretty polished for a 17 year old, and I'm pretty sure that his dad picked his highlight tape tunes. I don't think i've heard the song "Highway to the Dangerzone" in the last 17 years, so I'm pretty sure that Tyler hasn't either.

Still the Greatest. Some things never change

The greatest football player who ever lived.... scratch that. The greatest athlete in the history of mankind..... scratch that one too. The greatest collection of DNA that the human race has ever produced, is once again a champion. That fits. Ol' #7 has done it again. John Elway wins yet another championship. Was there ever any doubt? That's right, yesterday Elway took on a formidable cast of foes (a list including retired Steelers coach Bill Cowher, video game entrepreneur / skateboarder Tony Hawk, singer Jewel, a rodeo guy, and a wrestler) and took them all down, winning by over 3 seconds. Elway averaged 149 mph during the race, didn't hit anything on the track, or any other cars, and he didn't stall the car once. These all seemed to be issues for the other drivers, but not for Elway who handled that car like he handled many a Broncos last minute drive, in total control. I think Kenny Mayne summed it up best when he said: "Millions of years from now, when the sun no longer exists and cars can fly, the poets will write, 'John Elway is the greatest celebrity car driver ever.' He is the champion. Congratulations." Well said Mr. Mayne. As if we needed anymore proof that John Elway is the greatest human ever, now we can add "Celebrity Car Racing Champ" to his list of feats. -- This brings me to my next Elway related issue today. A reader of ours named Matt Allinson sent in an email that needs to be posted, as it is one of the greatest ideas I've ever heard. Here's what Matt said: And a good day to you. I come to you because I have no one else to turn to (that I know of). I'll make it brief, because I know you are busy men with deadlines to meet and snacks to eat. July 7th (aka 07-07-07) is sneaking up on us quickly and beyond being one of the most popular days of all time to get married, the date also seems to lend itself, rather seamlessly, to a tribute to our beloved John Albert Elway. He was the number seven to beat all number sevens - at least in this fellow's opinion. I'm not suggesting an organized rally or fawning columns in the paper or Reggie Rivers fucking up an interview with him; I'm merely asking the Denver Metropolitan area, the Rocky Mountain Region and the Nation as a whole to take a moment and appreciate what the man with the golden arm and the imposing teeth did for football. If you have a jersey, throw it on (and I may pay a pretty penny to see someone wearing one at a wedding). If you have a copy of Super Bowl XXXII or XXXIII, insert it into the VCR (DVD player?) and enjoy. If you live in Denver, go to his restaurant. If nothing else, Google him. There's really no better day to honor The Comeback Kid and anytime you can remind people to do so leading up to the 7th would be great. If not, I understand. But not really. I'll be contacting the mayor's office to see if we can't get the day renamed in His honor, even though we've probably had about a dozen John Elway days by now. First off Matt, I'm glad that we are someone that you feel you can turn to in a time of need such as this. If we Homers can't help each other out, than what good is this crazy world we live in? Second, this is an incredible idea that needs to happen. Rest assured we will do our part to have 07/07/07 officially recognized as John Elway Day, a nationally recognized holiday where we will all have the day off work, we will all wear our Elway jerseys and other paraphernalia, and we will all gather in Washington Park and re-enact The Drive, The Dive, and various other great moments in Elway's unmatched career. We'll sing the "I Love Elway" Song. We'll probably be very drunk. To all of our other readers, it's time join in the revolution. Make 07/07/07 John Elway day, call in sick to work, call your congressman, email AM950, the Denver Post, Rocky Mountain News, Mayor Hickenlooper, Governor Ritter, Sammy Winder, anyone you can think of. Send this link on to all of your friends and let's get some momentum going for this thing. Matt has planted the seed, now it is up to us to make this baby grow! Thank you for your vision Matt! Also, any bar / club owners that may read our blog, if you create some sort of celebration for Elway Day, count me in. In other sports news: - The Bandwagon loses some weight as the Rox get swept by the Blue Jays. I hope I didn't jinx them with that whole "best team in the AL East" thing last week. Although, at the time it was true. It's a tricky thing, playing in Canada. I mean, I still haven't worked out the exchange rate exactly, but I think that once you do the math that we actually won the first two games. So technically I was right. Plus, a lot of teams have been nearly no-hit by Dustin McGowan.... wait, what do you mean they haven't? Have you seen the size of those mutton chops? He's got a 5.85 lifetime ERA people! We've got Jeff Francis going against the Cubs today, so hopefully this little losing streak will end before it gets out of hand. - Attention Nuggets fans, with no picks in Thursday's NBA draft, make sure you head out and purchase one of these draft day Nuggets hats! No one else will be wearing it that day, and you and your friends can pretend to get signed to a free agent contract or something.

Update from Boulder

I was out of town for the last week, so some of this isn't exactly breaking news, but here is what's been happening up at CU lately: Basketball - Coach Buzz has been busy evaluating talent since he came on board and has found three players wanting. Marc Van Burck, Sean Kowal, and James Inge have been told that it is very unlikely that they will ever play for Coach Buzz and the Buffs, so he is going to allow them to transfer to a school of their choosing. Or what is basically a polite way of saying "how the hell did you get a Big 12 scholarship?!?!" My question about this is; why is it that when players transferred under Coach Ricardo Patton they were "forced out of the program", yet when players transfer under Buzz it appears as though the media has decided he is being gracious enough to "grant them releases from their scholarships"? Look, I want Buzz to take the program to the next level as much as anyone. It's my program after all. Myself and Forty Duece gave blood, sweat, and tears to CU basketball for 4 years. We want them to succeed more than anything. But it is kind of suspicious the way that Patton was treated by the media compared to the way Buzz has been. I know we are way early in the honeymoon period, but Buzz seems to be similar in tact, work ethic and discipline to Coach P. So why do people love Buzz where they hated Patton? Was it Patton's attitude towards the media? Was it his skin color? Or were they just tired of each other? I don't know the answer. I just think it's funny that they say that Buzz is "granting" these kids a transfer, when we don't know that they actually want to be granted one. With that said, I do think it will help the team in the long run. Mainly because it breaks up the 8 man freshman class a bit from last year and helps to balance out the program. Hopefully he can find a couple of decent big men to fill up some open scholarships though. With no one on the team over 6'9" now, life could be tough in the Big 12. Buzz did sign up his first recruit this week. Cory Higgins, son of longtime NBA vet Rod Higgins, chose the Buffs over some bigger name schools like Cal, Georgetown, Marquette, Oregon, and Vanderbilt according to rivals.com. Rivals has Higgins as a 3 star recruit and scouts.com has him as a 75 grade and the #108 shooting guard in the country. Not a bad first recruit for Buzz. Higgins also has the endorsement of Chris Mullin, which is good enough for me. I was known to rock the flat top back in the day to show my love for my man Mully, so I trust him completely. Buzz also announced the rest of his staff this week. The most interesting name of the group is that of former Wyoming Head Coach Steve McClain. McClain was one of the most successful coaches in Wyo history, leading them to a couple of NCAA tournament births and recruiting a pair of All-Americans to the school also. He should be a great addition to Buzz's staff, and I believe it's also a good sign that Buzz isn't afraid or threatened by adding another talented, proven basketball mind to be his #2. It can only be better for the players and the team in the long run. Football - Coach Hawk added a couple new recruits to the 08 class, from the Daily Camera: Football recruiting Hawkins and his assistants have spent much of this month on the recruiting trail and have received four oral commitments for the 2008 recruiting class to this point. The three new commitments include four-star wide receiver Chance Blackmon from Tatum, Texas; linebacker Josh Berard from Torrance, Calif.; and place-kicker Jameson Davis from Eagle, Idaho. Five-star junior-college wide receiver Corey Surrency was the first commitment in the class several months ago. Of the three newest additions, Blackmon should be a contributor fairly early in his career, and Berard probably needs to add a little bulk to his frame, but the most important of them is probably kicker Jameson Davis. Judging from our Spring Game, we don't have much of an heir to the kicking throne with Mason Crosby gone the way of the cheeseheads, and Davis is supposed to be the real deal. As Mason proved during his career, a great kicker is an invaluable commodity. Hawk really seems to be shoring up the WR position though. It looks like he is doing everything in his power to make sure his son will succeed here at CU. He loaded up the O-Line with last years recruiting class, and it looks like he is going after some big fast receivers for him to throw the ball to this year. With Blackmon (6'3" 4.5 40 time), Sorrency (6'5" 4.4 40 time) and Markques Simas (6'1" 4.5 40) from last years class, (not to mention B-Jax) it looks like Lil' Hawk will have plenty of options throughout his career. Here's the good thing for CU fans, the better Hawk makes the team for his son, the better he makes the team. No matter what his motivation is, things look like they are turning around for us. It looks like we are in the running for several nationally televised games next season also. The CU vs. CSU game is always on national TV, we just signed up to have the home opener against Florida St. on ESPN, we are currently in negotiations to nationally televise the Arizona St. game, the Nebraska game will be on ABC, and the Oklahoma game could potentially be on the big screen also. When was the last time a 2-10 team had five games on national TV the next year? That is incredible! If we manage to win a few of them it will be a huge help for recruiting also. One last thing.... Thank God for the small victories. It appears as though the Great John Elway was offered a spot on Dancing With the Stars recently. And for the love of all things holy and pure, Elway turned them down, thus keeping his legacy intact. I just don't know if I could have handled the trauma and disappointment involved in seeing the greatest football player who ever lived.... my boyhood idol.... a Colorado icon.... my hero..... dressed like this......

Who are the Colorado Homers?

We are Colorado sports fans. Huge Colorado sports fans. And we plan to bring you a fans perspective on what's happening in the state of Colorado sports. We're going to be honest, even when it hurts a little. We're going to tell you what we think, and hopefully we will make you laugh too. Well, everyone except for Jeff. He isn't funny. Here are a few of our beliefs: 1. John Elway is the greatest quarterback and football player who ever lived. Period. Spare us with your Joe Montana / Dan Marino / Tom Brady / Peyton Manning arguments. That shit ain't gonna fly here. 2. The Colorado Buffaloes will rise again. The last couple of years have been trying, but calm the hell down CSU fans, we'll be beating your ass regularly again soon. 3. AI and Carmelo will make it work. Sprinkle in a little Nene and some Marcus Camby and we've got a contender on our hands... as long as we don't play the Spurs. 4. Louis Wright should be in the Hall of Fame. So should Randy Gradishar, Steve Atwater, Terrell Davis, and a handful of other Broncos. It's an atrocity that one of the most successful franchises in NFL history has only one player in the Hall of Fame. 5. The Colorado Rockies will make the playoffs in the next 35 years. Trust us on this one.... it's bound to happen at least once. 6. The Colorado Rapids are a soccer team. That's about the extent of our knowledge in this area. And Dick's Sporting Goods probably isn't the best named sponsor for a new stadium. Maybe next time they can collect some dough from Vagina's Boating Supplies and slap that name on a stadium. 7. Avalanche fans are spoiled. Our team missed the playoffs this year for the first time since moving here in 1996. With Captain Joe the only real name left from the Stanley Cup days, we may have to get used to watching the Nuggets in the playoffs every spring instead. 8. Jake Plummer will be missed by the Broncos and their fans. But not because of his on field play (which could best be described as "ass-tastic") only because of his awesome facial hair stylings. (Jake's beard < Jake's porn-stache) Check back regularly, we'll try to keep the content current. Hold onto your balls Colorado sports fans, this could be fun.