Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Excuse me while I vent....

I really didn't want to step on Brainz toes but I have to get this off my chest.....

I hate the San Antonio Spurs.

This stems from much more than my love of the Nuggets. Even if the Nuggets never played the Spurs I would still hate them. The Spurs are the most boring team in the NBA. Don't get me wrong, they are a very good team, but they are abhorrently boring. They don't have a single player that is fun to watch. Ginobli might be, but his flops and theatrics make him more like a Portuguese soccer player than an NBA guy. Parker is lighting quick, but all he does is shoot layups, floaters, and ugly jump shots. Tim Duncan.... the "big fundamental".... F him. I don't think there has ever been a more boring superstar in this league. Another 8 foot bank shot for Duncan! High Fives all around! What about Finley? Barry? Oberto? Elson? They all suck dick. The only one remotely fun to watch is Robert Horry (may he burn in the firey pits of hades!) because of his clutch shooting. When you break it down the Spurs are like a male version of the WNBA. All jumpshots, layups, crying, bitching, complaining, and awfulness. And these ass-clowns are most likely going to win the NBA title again. Which means more teams will try to copy them, which means the NBA will continue down this path of boring basketball. The best thing that could happen to the NBA right now would be for the Suns to win the title. Or better yet, the Warriors. But it's not going to happen. The Spurs are going to beat everyone 93-85 until they eventually play the Pistons in a rematch of the 2005 shootout in the NBA finals. You remember that series don't you? I don't think either team scored 100 points in the entire 7 game series. NBA action!

God I hate the Spurs.

Some reasons we're down 3-1:

- Karl is getting his dick kicked in the dirt by Popovich

Popovich has so thoroughly out-coached George Karl in this series it is embarrassing. Watch the next game, anytime we even remotely start a run Pop will call a timeout and squash it before it gets any steam. Not to mention Karl's bizarre substitutions. And when is Karl going to flip out on the refs? He needs to take a cue from Phil Jackson and call the refs out in the media. How can Tim Duncan not get a single foul called on him for over 6 quarters? And Melo gets 4 offensive fouls in one game??

- JR / Kleiza are the biggest tight asses in history

I get it... It's your first playoff series.... you lack experience....Sack up. It is impossible to beat any team, let alone the Spurs, with ZERO contribution from your bench. JR is 0 for the series on 3's. I think Kleiza might be 1-8 in the series. They suck. Blake hasn't been much better.

- AI is playing like dog poop

What the hell is wrong with him? He is missing so many layups, it's like he's channeled the spirit of former Buff walk-on Rick Brownstein. 9-25 last night and 23-70 in the last three games? AI needs to get his swagger back.

- Not enough Melo

Melo has been unstoppable this entire series. In fact, he is so good that it looks like the Spurs have decided to let him get his 30 and focus on shutting down AI. Bowen spent most of Game 4 on Iverson instead of Melo. Still Iverson put up 25 shots to Melo's 17. That needs to be reversed. If we are going to have any chance of making this series competitive than either Iverson needs to snap out of this slump or Melo needs to go for 45 every night. We aren't getting any help from anyone else outside of Nene.

So can the Nuggets come back? I'd like to say that they can, and anything is possible, but with the way we are playing right now it is highly unlikely. We need Iverson to step up and make the shots he normally makes, we need to get the ball to Melo more often, we need Kleiza or JR Smith to make the ball go through that circular metal thing with the net hanging from it a few times, and then we have a chance. And it wouldn't hurt if someone took Robert Horry's creaking knees out either.

I don't like Horry.

I bet he kicks dogs and makes babies cry on purpose.

Why won't he just retire.