Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Nene's Down 1 Ball

The truth behind Nene's recent mysterious health problem came to light yesterday, a testicular tumor.

It's unclear as to whether the tumor was cancerous or benign. But the prognosis looks good as Nene's website temporarily had an update saying it was benign (it was later taken down) and doctors saying they got to it very early.

I'm pretty sure that in the list of things men do NOT want to hear their doctors say, "you have a tumor on your nut" is right up there with "the baby is yours", "I was right, it IS gonorrhea", and "you have a toothpick fish in your pee-hole".

But even if it is cancerous, it sounds like it was caught at an early enough stage that Nene may be back as early as a few weeks. This is good news.

And don't worry Nene, there are plenty of other fellas out there who have gone on to do great things with just one nut.

Lance Armstrong lost a ball, then did this:

John Kruk was diagnosed in 1994, and came back to play and do this.

Jose Molina (the Spanish goalie) went on to save goals and stuff.

Scott Hamilton continued Ice Skating and looking like this:

Tom Green went on to suck goat teet and freestyle battle with Xzibit:

See! This isn't the end for our big Brazilian.

So here's to a speedy recovery for Nene.... so he can come back to suffer some other random injury.