Monday, June 11, 2007

Where you at Yakhouba?

That was a rough little Saturday night wasn't it Nuggets fans? What a weekend to be a shooting guard for the Denver Nuggets! I'm sure most of you have heard about the mishaps of our rambunctious little SG's over the last two days, but in case you haven't here is a quick recap.

- JR Smith was thrown from his SUV on Saturday night in New Jersey while running a stop sign shortly after getting a quick fade touch-up at the barbershop. According to reports, him and his passenger were both thrown from the SUV after colliding with a Jaguar while running the stop sign. Smith was treated for minor injuries, but his passenger was taken to the hospital with what was described as "life threatening injuries". Smith may face some traffic violations for the accident, not to mention the fact that his friend has life threatening injuries.

Smith has had a rough go of it with the Nuggets since his hot start early last season. It's all that damn Mardy Collins fault!

- DerMarr Johnson was arrested on Saturday night outside the Purple Martini for resisting arrest. Johnson's attorney claims that DJ was just trying to break up a fight between two women and it is all a misunderstanding. Police officers claim that DerMarr pushed a cop. We'll see how this one plays out. The most entertaining part of the story to me is that apparently the police tasered DerMarr in order to "calm him down". This is how it all went down in my head

Officer 1 - "Hey, that tall black guy is assaulting those two women over there!":

Officer 2 - "I'll take care of this..... What's going on over here?"

DerMarr - "Man, these two girls....."

Officer 2 - "Settle down negro!" ZAP!!

I'm sure in real life that it was nothing like that, but that's how it happened in my head.

So if you're scoring at home that's 2 out of 3 Nuggets shooting guards in trouble with the law this past weekend. No reports are in as to the whereabouts of Yakhouba Diawara, but word is that Nuggets officials are in the process of tracking him down somewhere on the mean streets of Paris, and forcing him to punch a baby or solicit a prostitute. The Nuggets are not happy with Diawara's lack of effort this weekend, and have given him a deadline of next weekend to be accused of a crime or he may face disciplinary action.

This little Nuggets weekend crime spree got me and a friend named Stretch talking about the thuggish nature of our Nuggs. Stretch suggested a reality TV show that featured the Denver Nuggets and Cincinnati Bengals, an island, a crate of guns, a crate of drugs, and a bevy of hookers. He thought it should be called "Detroit, Michigan".

I have a better idea though. We need a reality TV show called "Survivor, Cincinnati". It would be the same premise as Stretch's idea except that we would switch out the Denver Nuggets with former Cincinnati Bearcat basketball players. We would have DerMarr Johnson, Nick Van Exel, Ruben Patterson, K-Mart, and Danny Fortson... that is a formidable starting five right there. They would be divided into two teams, Bengals vs. Bearcats, and the last player who isn't dead, in jail, or in the hospital will win. The grand prize would be $100k to pay off suspension fines and lawyer fees. Tell me you wouldn't watch this show.

(update - the other man thrown from Smith's SUV died earlier today. My condolences to the family and friends of Andre Bell.)


Jibblescribbits said...

Congrats on the Deadspin link...

Anonymous said...

AI was at the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City with the Cru and his mom from 2 am til about 9 am playing some high stakes cards and staying safe although he rebuffed all communication negative or positive from other casino patrons.

Anonymous said...

The Cru must love having AI back in town to pick up the tabs again. Just like old times!